Eviction day is TOMORROW…GET OUT!!!

Before we get started I want to dedicate this blog entry to my sweet loving husband Nick who if he touches me again and get’s me pregnant I may just kill him 😉 . I love you hunny xoxo!

This is it, around 3 and I’m soooooo done! Yes, a child is a blessing that’s for sure and what a woman’s body can do it’s crazy amazing I get that too but to go as far as saying I love being pregnant…you won’t hear me utter those words…EVER lol! I HATE being pregnant, ya I said it, HATE! Let me break it down for you so maybe you can get a better idea of where I’m coming from here.

CON’S:

• No sleep from day 1 – It’s so bad I don’t even need to take a pregnancy test to know I have a bun in the oven.
• Gaining weight – Who doesn’t love getting fat? Ya, not me and I don’t care if it’s baby weight or not.
• Heartburn – Yes, I especially love this in the middle of the night when you want to hurl.
• Nausea – Because wanting to puke your guts out all the time feels fantastic.
• Swelling – I’m not complaining so much this time as I haven’t swelled up like my past pregnancies but blowing up like a Good Year blimp or the Nutty Professor (that’s what Nick called me when I was pregnant with Samantha my first) is always a great look for us Mammas wouldn’t you say? LOL
• Peeing 24/7 – Because the most comfortable place for baby is on your bladder and especially the middle of the night for some reason. You can sit on the toilet for 20 min just for a drip of urine to come out but you feel like you could pee out a river. Someone get me some Depends STAT!
• Getting beat up from in the inside – Awwwww baby kicks! NO, not awwwww at all it’s facking annoying especially when they kick you in a vagina…like really kid?
• Maternity Clothes – Ugly, gross and nasty unless you find a good maternity store like Luna Maternity & Nursing (ya of course I’m gonna plug one of our ChicMamma.ca Vendors haha).
• 10 Months – 9 months is a big fat lie…do the math it’s 40 weeks and 40 weeks is 10 months. I bet you it was a guy who came up with this 9 month bull shit!
• Labour and Delivery – Because you didn’t just go through 10 months of garbage let’s throw more pain and agony your way.
• Recovery – Oh sweetie it’s not over yet, now you need to recover! Whether it be from a vaginal birth where you TEARRRRR or a c-section where they cut through all your stomach muscles and have a 6 week recover period…it’s fantastic 😉 . The best is when you have other children at home already and the doctor tells you to take it easy and not lift anything heavy haha.
• Stretch Marks – Because what fun is pregnancy without a souvenir to take with you for the rest of your life.
• GIANORMOUS UTTERS – Wait did I say utters? I meant boobs! Because being a woman wasn’t hard enough let’s be part cow now too.

PRO’S:

• THE ARRIVAL OF YOUR BABY – Once your little shit head is out you don’t forget the pain but they do put a smile on your face and make it worth while.

So there you have it some con’s (SOME…cuz if I were to list them all I’d be here forever) and a pro. Maybe now people get why I’m not such a fan of this thing called pregnancy 😉 . This might also explain why I told my OB to not bother tying my tubes during my c-section tomorrow but just to TAKE THEM instead lol.

Now only if science could give us Mammas a break and let the Papa’s out there experience this, I doubt they’d last long but it sure would be fun to watch! Nick dear I know you’re reading this and as much as you joke and laugh at me I can tell you that you wouldn’t even last a day in my shoes…check out this video from The Try Guys and I dare you to even attempt it haha.

(thanks to Chic Mamma Carmen for this awesome video)

Now off to pack cuz this kid is coming tomorrow and I’m the WORST procrastinator in the world. Eviction day is almost here little one and it’s time to GET OUT cuz Mamma wants her body back and remember to be nice to me cuz I’m the one with milk on tap not Papa Nick. LOVE YOU xoxo