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Time is running out :(

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This is it, the final stretch! I’m 32 weeks pregnant and the clock is ticking away leaving me with less and less time alone with my Sammy Baby. I didn’t think that it would be this hard, but oh my God is it ever! Everyone says, “Don’t worry it will be great, your love will just multiply”, but it doesn’t make things any better or easier for me. I know I’m not the first to go through this and won’t be the last but this is all new to me.  It’s all overwhelming and my heart won’t stop aching. 🙁

Samantha is my pride and joy, my life, my everything and I cherish every moment with her. We laugh, play, sing, and dance together and I give her all my attention (leaving hubby with zero of it these days…sorry!). I just can’t imagine not having all that time for her once the baby comes. She’s my baby…my 21 month old baby and it breaks my heart! Don’t get me wrong I’m happy about having baby #2 on the way, thrilled really, but at the same time I can’t shake this feeling. Like right now, just the thought has me in tears and even though she’s napping I want to run into her room and crawl into bed with her to make the most of this time we have together…just the two of us. I know it’s sounds crazy and a bit extreme but this is how I feel and I can’t help it. I just want to freeze time because I know this is it, time is running out and we’ll never have this opportunity again.

Is it nuts that I feel this way? Is it normal to be so emotional (I guess the pregnancy hormones don’t help). I know I’ve been blessed with such an amazing daughter and with another child on the way. Many would say “Be happy because some people can’t even have one child let alone two”, but I just can’t help to feel like this.

What’s going to happen when the baby comes? Will I have any time for Samantha? Is she going to feel left out? I don’t want anything to change but I know that in some ways they will, it’s life! The anxiety has already kicked in about going to the hospital to have the baby and being without Samantha for a night or two. This is the stuff that goes through my mind when I find myself awake at night. I just hope she knows just how much I love her and how much she means to me because that for sure won’t change.

With less than 8 weeks to go, I guess I just have to make the most of it because I know that baby #2 will be here in a blink of an eye!

I love you Samantha Giuliana or should I say Manta Iana 😉 xoxo

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