A Mother’s Promise

Guest Blog Written By: Chic Mamma Rosanne Farano-Romanino

Tonight as I lay here putting my children to sleep, I am a little more grateful. I am a little more aware. I am a little more open. A big piece of my heart goes out to someone who has experienced a tremendous loss earlier today…and although I did not personally have the honour of meeting this Special Little Angel, she touched so many hearts and so many lives.

I write this tonight for all the Mother’s who have lost a Child; to all those Mother’s who have lost a baby in utero or still born; to all those Mother’s at heart that have never been able to carry a child; to all the Mother’s who have children that have been ill far too soon in their young lives, that have been touched with severe illness and have to undergo or experience things that a child should never have to; to all the Mother’s who have children with Special Needs, and to all the adversity they face on a daily basis; to all the Angel Babies watching over us in heaven and to My three beautiful Children and all the children I have the pleasure of knowing in my life and most of all To All You Mothers out there, reading this right now…

As I lay here next to my baby boy, only 8 months old, and touch his sweet soft skin, feel his little hands on my chest and how he moves his hands over my body to bring me closer to him. How I know he feels safe having me next to him as he finds comfort in my presence as he drifts off to sleep. Each kiss, each snuggle, each hug, every glance, every smile. I am filled with love and I am grateful. And although in 5 years from now I may not remember every single time I kissed his forehead, or held his hand…a special place in my heart will know. My heart will remember that today I was grateful, my son will know that he was always loved and that I was grateful. Because children just know. They know things beyond their years, they have an understanding far beyond that of adults. A comprehension, a connection to something far greater that over the years we have lost.

As I lay next to my daughter and wonder where the last three years of her life have gone…as she strokes my arm to comfort herself to falling asleep. As I hear her breath and watch her close her eyes and pretend to sleep. She whispers something to me, reminiscing about the day’s events and what she wishes for tomorrow. I remind myself to be patient and I am grateful. I am grateful for the honour of being her mother, for the gift of motherhood, for the experience of having her in my life. I am reminded to be patient with her, to quiet my mind of all the chatter and all the thoughts of the ‘things I have to do, or the work I have to finish’. And I remind myself that there is a Mother out there that cannot put their baby to sleep just one more time. For this moment I am grateful.

As I stand here and watch how independent my five year old son has become, how he gets himself ready for bed, washes up, dresses himself, climbs into bed…still wanting to be close and needing the comfort of just a few minutes of Mommy or Daddy’s time just before bed. I hear the chatter of advice and what people say “put your kids to bed on their own, let them soothe themselves to sleep, give them independence”. And then I quiet my mind, it feels right to stay with him for those few minutes before bed…to be close to him. To make him feel safe, to remind him that he is loved and still special – and although he is growing and is more independent and needs us less for so many other things. His fundament needs have not changed. And as I lay here next to him and he smiles at me, and whispers something brilliant to me (as he never ceases to amaze me with his thoughts and humble knowledge), I am reminded to be more patient, to be more loving and more kind. That throughout the day, the frustrations, the tantrums or meltdowns…the moments they seem to drift off into another place – and we as Parent’s think they’re not listening. I am reminded to be more patient…to stop myself and to give more Love.

I am reminded that children are everything that is good in this world and everything that is pure, they are simple creatures and need only one thing; Love. I realized not too long ago, that they’re not ignoring us on purpose to hurt us…perhaps it’s a brief moment in time, they hear a whisper from a place they remember (seems like such a long time ago), a brief reconnection to a place from which they came. From the place that We All as we age we lose touch with. Perhaps it’s a brief moment in time a flash or a reconnection, a glimpse back to the purity and the goodness from whence we came. So I remember in a moment like that, to be patient. To ignore my ego, to the thoughts of him not paying attention, or to him not responding soon enough for my/our liking or expectation.

For all those moments we take for granted, there is a Mother out there that will never be able to hear their child speak their first word, take their first steps, hold them as they sleep, pick them up when they fall, comfort them when they’re teething, hold them when they cannot sleep, say “Mamma” for the first time, throw a tantrum, paint on the walls, throw their food on the floor, get into trouble, fight with their sibling(s). For all those moments where we feel overwhelmed, just breathe and be patient. Fill your heart with love and remember…that these difficult moments too shall pass. They pass even more quickly than all the good moments as they are further and farther between. Tell yourself that I am blessed to have these moments, the good the bad, the hard, the messy, the crazy, the peaceful the dramatic and calm. All of these moments make up our Lives.

Tonight and everyday I am grateful, for all these moments. As I reflect on these last few years and realize that time passes now more quickly than ever before, and if we don’t revel in these simple yet so incredible times in our lives, and triumph in their beauty…we won’t ever get them back. So to all The Mother’s who have and have not…I make a promise, a Promise to My Children, a Promise to myself…

That today, tomorrow and every day I will be more loving, I will be more kind, I will have more patience, I will Always try to remember, I will never let myself forget, I will stop and take a breath, I will pause and quietly smile, I will laugh more, play more, I will feel from the heart and remember that love can heal all things. I will teach this to my children and show them that everyday I too am learning, learning about myself, learning from them as they teach me to be a better person. They have made me into the woman, into the Mother I am today. And although I am not perfect, I am their Mother and I Love them with everything I am and everything I am to become. I am so honoured to be their Mother and that they have graced my Life with their Beautiful Souls.

May you be blessed and filled with Love and Light always.